Valentine's Spoilers

If you don't have a valentine this year, don't worry, you can still spoil at least something for those who do. Buy a packet of Sweetheart Spoilers and find people on dates... then just give them a bunch of these. Chances are they've seen the movie, but if they haven't they're gonna have as awful a day as you. And that's something we can all be proud of.

Self-Referential Valentines

These sweethearts have absolutely no sense of awareness outside of the bare bone facts that they are in fact sweethearts. They were probably made by a man who has no idea of anything outside the fact that his name is Bobby. They will be most enjoyed by a man who only knows his name is Dru... that and he loves non-creative sweethearts.

Valentinexistentialism

These come straight out of the valentine's day celebrations from a dark dorm room where a young man has locked himself in there to think about how the world is a cruel and fickle mistress... also because he's mad Sheila across the hall won't love him.

Valentine's 2.0

I mean, we all knew that this was coming. You'll see these all over the internets and all over the offices of Microsoft. As if people who were already on twitter didn't need a more convoluted way to talk to girls.